Please who!

‘’ Adjust, you must ‘’ – Said a mother consoling her child ruffled yet refusing to align with the ways of the world. A few years and a thousand mistakes later, the question still lingers – adjust to the vagaries of nature, adapt to the whimsical ways of people or just about please the world robbing yourself off a night of peaceful sleep, if yes, for how long??

Birth to death, is the vicious cycle of pleasing. Right from smiling for the crowds lining up to see you and hold you when you were born to bearing with a smile the ubiquitous nosy relatives and their creepy ‘’ Beta / Beti – Kitne number aaye, shaadi kab kar rahe ho ‘’ jamboree.

Somebody remarked we live in a world of plastic, very soon do we realize, yes indeed.

Right from faking that perfect smile to maintaining a bridge which should have been rightfully burnt, we all love to please the world with our often not happy lives, after-all human is a social animal and in today’s world, your network is your net worth.

 Ever tried telling somebody that you don’t appreciate something rather than brewing poison inside or burning a bridge that stunts your growth, more often than not, we don’t, because at the end of the day we have the world at our doorstep to please with our social life and how can we forget the indian jugaadu line ‘’ kaam aane pe gadhe ko bhi ghoda banana padta hey’’ logic we are brain fed with since birth!
 
Luckily or unluckily, plastic degrades and so does the superficiality. Neither does a man / women need a woman /man to testify nor do we need to be a diplomat to save our ass and even worse, is to live in a make belief world where irresponsible alcohol and drugs make one look cool.

Good words stay, but sadly it’s the honest words that make a difference and it is those that are needed rather than somebody who can mollycoddle the ass into believing in mediocrity, for a lot of times it’s not what is right or wrong but the courage to tell that you make your choices (un-adultered) and take responsibility for it rather than living a life trying to please the society around, for it’s not the society that sings a lullaby at night but your own conscience that puts you to sleep.

Refuse to be chained by the ways of the world, till the time the world braces itself for some honest words and genuine smiles, dropping the veil of superficiality we engulf ourselves in.

Regards the lone wolf in a world of wolves disguised as sheep.

Nirvana: Rising from the Dead!

Sometimes travel is not about the love for getting lost in the un-chartered terrains but the process of regaining your lost value of self.

These 2 lines pretty much sum up the story of my sudden vacation / escape plan (special mention to the man, my father who NEVER tells a NO, no matter how crazy the plan). The very thought that it could end up chaotic in addition to relearning a lot of things, getting rid of people crutches and negativity was to be a task, one thing however I was sure of, the journey had to begin at Delhi – right from the ghar ka punjabi khaana with my extended family to pizzas to handling maid’s to staying alone in a penthouse to sleeping off on the terrace getting lost counting the stars to travelling by metro. It wouldn’t be wrong to call this place; My soul  that I left behind a good 1 and half years ago (however cliched it may sound).

What better a place could I begin the journey from, if not here! 2 months of sheer living in hell to going through trauma that I myself still cannot understand, had to fuck itself in the ass and it had to happen soon, for as my dad keeps telling ‘’ The my way or highway king has to be the pain in the ass that he is, to stay sane‘’. First stop was Ajmer, if put absolutely un-apologetically, God or the Baba himself would be astonished with the amount of business his name o his glory generates, however this was one place to visit. Next lined up was Pushkar, ohh the mighty bum breaking fall at the ghats where my fall evoked loud laughter :P where I realised sometimes its good to laugh at your own short comings. Last up: Jaipur – a place I always dreamt of (I would kill anybody any day to become royalty): right from almost getting robbed, to having too many things to do, the whole world yet again seemed to be against, but I realised, bitch I am a harder nut and like always will complete what I set out for, no matter what! Completed the plan, but now how do I go back to Delhi?? Buses full, No trains, Flight fares touching the sky ? What next: Suddenly as if by miracle I am indirectly forcefully boarded into a private car, little did I think (trust issues had already taken a toll, so the realisation that there is nothing worse that could happen was the only solace) that this was to be a huge lesson on trust, humanity, false sense of security and people. The lesson being: sometimes in the rush to be accepted by the  ‘’ people we want ‘’, we forget to appreciate ‘’ the people who want us ‘’ and little do we realize the key to happiness is the latter and not the former. The other lessons from the ride, will be charged for, since I hate doing things for free, no charity please!

Next up was to be Amritsar, wouldn’t be wrong to call this place my 4^th home (1 – Hyderabad, 2 Delhi, 3 Airports). The experience takes me over when I recollect my experiences at Amritsar, Right from the ‘’ display ‘’ of courage at Wagah to the soul stirring experience at Golden Temple considering that very few temples in this country just shut my mind up made this trip a prize catch. Cherry on top was the food ! The aromas, the masala’s and the makhan and lip smacking punjabi food, what more can a foodie ask for. Right from trying food at Langar to Kesar da dhaba and Bharwan da dhaba to the amazing sweets, this trip had filled me at many levels that I just cannot fathom.

‘’ You always get what you deserve or more ‘’ will be one lesson that got reinforced again for nobody and nothing in this world takes a higher priority than I, Me, Myself  (a lesson my dad tried hard to ingrain, but in vain) and there is absolutely no need to feel accepted, loved or cared, for I had everything I needed and more and I had no reasons to compromise for anything like always. Now who can boast of having your ex-landlords as family, a blood family who cares and meets all your tantrums and however small the circle of close knit friends and more who stick by you without a complaint literally with guns to kill though they know you are a pain when going through a low, yet don’t complain!

Lastly there is no greater relief than realising that I did fall (a mighty one at that), lost myself completely and became a sadder version of myself but the fact that I have learnt a huge deal of the people, things and situations I engulf myself in proved to be the silver lining.

To all those, missing my bad ass taunts, I don’t give a fuck attitude, The Jackass is back and this time with more sting!

Are we really safe !!??

One of those nights where sleep evades you and a small experience of road aggression that happened 3 hours ago sets off a chain of thoughts, as to are we really safe!? 

Sometimes it's an illusion of a goodie goodie world we live in. India as per news reports ranks among the highest human trafficking spots in the world. Every day maybe an honest, power less man is slaughtered or hounded like a dog or we listen to laws that make us all feel un-equal (be it the reservations or the caste politics). Are we really safe!? 

Sometimes we skip a heartbeat when our dear ones don't answer their phones, personification of fear perhaps. Greed is the mother of all sins and power corrupts, can't get more truer than this. Every once in a while this country witnesses a scam, a rape, a murder, an abduction, a girl pushed into prostitution or a stinking rich drunk bastard mowing down people on the roads. Are we slowly moving towards a gun toting, weapon yielding and an aggressive culture driven by materialism. A question lingers. Are we really safe!? 

Today news, tomorrow nothing is a logic we live by. As long as it doesn't happen to me or my family. I don't care is often an answer we self appease just to guarantee a good night's sleep. The rich continue to exploit, the poor think it's better to loot and do anti-social than to live an honest life and well the middle class or the upper middle class are just waiting to grab a piece of sunshine themselves fighting their way to maintain their sanity and integrity. Not that i find fault with these people, but its so sad that though we boast of achieving higher growth, more income and blahh. It's a fact that we live in a society that has under currents of status quo, power distance, sexism, chauvinism and god knows a gamut of what all. It's sometimes not the natural disasters we are scared of, it's the demons within us and around that shake us up. 

We talk so much of women empowerment with various celebrities (industry's which have been at the centre stage of un-reported assault cases, should we really believe these dolts) milking their image by its association. Are we slowly moving to a culture where we are more interested in the superficial rather than finding solutions. Do fancy videos, candle light marches really make a difference. Does just breaking down boundaries, terming immoral to be right mean empowerment, for it is the poor who bear the brunt of this not the mighty. Are our women really safe!? We live in a country where the irony is women are worshipped as god but there is always a bastard in a corner waiting to slip his hand beneath her body! Do these videos and fancy talk make any difference. Are we really safe!? Does getting drunk, having the choice to choose your partner to make out mean women empowerment or is it about women enjoying an equal share in the work space, having an equal say as an individual imply women empowerment. It;s not about people (men and women getting drunk in the night) getting drunk or choosing who they want to marry. It's about maybe a lady sweeper going to work in the night without a fear of drunk asshole mowing her down or a perverse dolt abducting her up. For god's sake it's not about getting drunk or anything else. It's a personal choice which should be respected but NOT made out into a women empowerment issue. 

The government offices are corrupt we assume, we hound the private ones for being greedy. Ever wondered what makes them so. The vicious circle of money, power and influence has taken us to a level where we forget that a crime so un-affected to us might just backfire in our own houses and willingly or un-willingly we are a party to this. Are we really safe!?

A thief wants to be a socialist, a politician wants to do good, a crook wants to be the kingsmaker and a pimp wants to do justice. Are we really safe!?

Sometimes I wonder have we as human beings fallen to the prey of sexism, religionism, greed, to cover up for our acts so insane that we forget the very essence of life is to live and let live. 

As i write today, a chill runs down my spine, not because i face some threat but because i just realized we live in a world where the thin line between right and wrong, justice and injustice is slowly diminishing. 

I am no commentator on matters concerning public life, but just an honest helpless citizen who dares to question Are we really safe!? Before you decide to really share or comment or like please do ponder over this. Your share or like or comment does'nt give me any benefit but maybe your thought would. 

Time flies away, Memories Remain

A strange sense of nostalgia grips me today, maybe because i compare the Diwali celebrations of last year and this year or don't know why but the lanes i passed by and the people i met have surprising remained an integral part of my life considering my penchant for forgetting things and people once i decide or time decides that their chapter is over in my life.

June 2013 to June 2014 should definitely be called the most challenging and the most defining stage of my life. Joining back pieces is never easy especially when dreams go un-fulfilled in spite of your efforts, old bonds break, trust shatters and all you are left with are some blank stares into the sky and endless questions for which nobody has any answers.The good teaches you to be good but the bad un-willingly turns you into a cynic, unsure of everybody and everything around.

Desperate times call for desperate actions. Never would i have imagined that i would move out of the comforts of my home to a land where i knew nobody and which i can safely say is like my second home today. The first few days were hell, not knowing where to go, almost getting kidnapped and looted to not finding a place to stay, but i still continued for all all i knew was that this place might just give me a new perspective and reasons as to why humans (more specifically me) should be social animals for we swallow ourselves into a world of manipulation, pretence and this make belief world of do good'ers.

Finding a home in Delhi became a little easier gradually with the help from one of my sir's from college Mr Aqueel Ahmed, then the next just followed staying on the top floor with no security, fear of darkness engulfing you inside and outside, the feeling of '' can i run back home a coward'' and can i adjust in this place. Life gradually became easier with the my landlords becoming my extended family. The boy who trust not his own shadow slowly started trusting people again, not because he had no choice but because living in the past was like letting his life play like a stuck gramophone. A strange sense of opening up, now the city felt my own for i went about any and everywhere i could with the time constraints i had, the people seemed my own, relations looked more than just a baggage and a label.

The sleeping on the terrace counting stars, the late night walks with uncle (Mr Rajesh Malhotra) and daadi (Mrs Kiran Malhotra) on the terrace became fun as we spoke anything and everything under the sun and made it look as if i was being taken care of and maybe somewhere up there, there was that fictional character suddenly rooting for me. (nobody knows the relief it was for my parents that their well bought up brahmin kid had returned to his roots foregoing his atheistic days).Conversations and shopping became more fun thanks to aunty (Mrs. Bharti Malhotra) for i had never encountered any family other than my own who cared so much for my well being (right from my health scares taking me to doctors, to taking care of my food and taking care of my every whim and fancy).The conversations just flowed, the movies, the dinner times, the T.V discussion times, the AAP debate times and all the gossip mongering we did still remains so fresh. 

I still dont have the answers why i was taken care like their own and what purpose have i served in their lives but all i know is i carry with me a new perspective (not a drastic change but yes a change definitely) and a sense of gratefulness for all that they have done for it was no easier handing a nut / a case (in language of my dad) like me.The trip and these people taught me certain things that i will always cherish '' it's not the big things that make one happy, its a combination of those small little things '', '' how to deal with a situation'', '' how to be giving '' and most important of them all i value every second i get to spend with my family rather than wiling away my time in dinners at fancy restaurants, movies or with people who never were and are a part of my life because '' relations stay only when both the parties involved are willing to contribute '' letting go off so many old friends without feeling bitter and these temptations was never easy but nevertheless what's life without a little bit of sacrifice and especially when its actually doing you a world of good. My good bye actually reinforced the belief in the age old saying  '' jo hota hey woh acche ke liye hota hey ''. 

Wonder why i write this today that too after an year has passed, maybe because i still love all these people and this is my way of ensuring that they stay in my head for as long as i breathe. More to such people and more to genuineness in this world and for all those wondering whatever happened to masaledaar writing that i always write, keep waiting, there's more in store considering i want to write more often now on everything strictly controversial :P hahah ...  

india thumakda - the item queen of indian politics.

How i wish i could cough in written oops i forgot i have got to be as honest as kejriwal ji and not copy him coughing.Before i start i want to admit i am writing this post with utmost honesty, integrity and blahh and i can vouch for the fact ki mein doodh se dhulla hua hoon aur jinko bhi yeh post galat dikhta hey woh chor hey aur sab bik chukke hey to crony capitalism .. :P

REASONS WHY NOT TO VOTE FOR THE ROAD RUNNER AND HIS CIRCUS COMPANY told in my ishtyle.
 
ECONOMY : subsidies are a politicians delight and an economists nightmare and in our times of already high fiscal deficit our dear tragediwal ji wants to give people subsidised power (bhagwan ke naam pe free mein de de bhai ), water. why is it bad 1) high fiscal deficit implies the govt borrows too much money from the banks thereby making it inevitable for banks to lend to pvt sector therefore higher rates of interest which the companies dont prefer therefore postpone investments, less jobs and more misery.Clearly our kejriwal ji despite him being an I to d R to d S officer loves subsidies because thats the easiest way to garner votes and easiest way to grab power.  Secondly his holiness wants the elctions to throw up a fractured mandate so that elections can happen again but the one thing he misses in his mindless rhetoric of swaraj and blah is that elections in india is like a marriage party, u alsways end up blowing more than ur budget and in these already tough times i think only he can fund these elections since dollar dollar heyy baby and he is the dollar man thanks to his party funding :P

POLITY : The media suddenly has started portraying him as the Mother Teresa (even she must be turning in her grave with disgust with this comparison ) of the depressed classes, the downtrodden and the women ... yes yes don't get shocked the women also and not to forget his way of doing it is don't come late, don't be an african else his self styled chowkidars will come at the stroke of the midnight clock and surprise surprise it's a raid with no proof and then in a meeting insult a respected female colleague who eventually walks out and to everyones utter surprise women are infact more poorly represented in the aap compared to the other parties. How dare me how can i forget he is d secular d man .. :P even if it means he gives a ticket to ppl based on the vote bank of the constituency (case in point old city majorly muslim population so our secular king will put up muslim candidates since this is secularism apunka ishtyle) and as far as my limited knowledge allows me except for shazia ilmi no SECULAR candidate has been fielded and i would not want to talk what is secular becoz i am d angootha d chaap and only d kejri d baba knows the definition.

 PALAT (oops paltu ) MERI JAAN TERA ITEM IDHAR HEY - mujhe/hume ghar nahi chahiye, gaadi nahi chahiye, hum gandhi vaadi hey isiliye repeatedly thappad khaate hain media mein sympathy ke liye and finally suddenly in the most filmi way he tells '' Mere paas MAA hey, sonia ma ''after all jhaadu aur haath donno hum saath saaath hey ki family hey, aur sheila dixit ji and fir's with regards to common wealth :P tauba tauba too much of cough has lead to selective amnesia and then i am an IRS officer and in the know how of how the govt works yet i formed the govt becoz i am power hungry oops no i genuinely care for the ppl (can't control my tears finally an angel has fallen from heaven to save us) and becoz u dnt listen to me i resign because i am a sacrificer just like my maa who sacrificed prime minister ship (to make the country sink). '' Lastly hum '' anti capitalist hain '' isliye hamare fund raising dinners ka kharcha 20,000 hey and any sane person would know that only darling crony capitalists can afford to pay 20,000 for a meal and i being aam will travel only by metro and cause nuisance to the public and hold my meetings in stadiums rather than assembly because i like d attention baby.

WHY I LOVE HIM : he and his show is better than comedy nights with kapil roz ka tamasha guaranteed and if the media does'nt focus on me i will sleep on the roads dharna and if that doesnt work, lets play holi with ink baby !! or even better lets wrestle :P news ka news and bechara ka bechara .. :P and his bunch of moronic supporters if this is not enuf will litter the streets, better idea kindly sweep the dirt off also after u litter and pee in front of m.p's houses (live example of freedom of expression baby). i sincerely hope and pray that this tamasha continues but on a serious note can we stop supporting this moron and his bunch of clowns and stop being a stake holder in raping the country and its people.

TO ALL THE PPL WHO ARE GOING TO ARGUE ON THIS ... PLEASE ARGUE .. :P i also want to see how it feels to enjoy attention in ways as shameless as these and i strongly again  re-iterate mein doodh se dhulla hua hoon aur jo bhi argue karenge sab chor hey aur woh bhi doctrinaired chor .. :P

 TO ALL THOSE PPL WHO SEE THIS MORON AS AN ALTERNATIVE and are blind to the obvious ... u guys need HELP !!! consult a psychiatrist immediately or better close ur eyes and sleep singing '' hum honge kamiyab ek din '' or even better dance to baby doll (yeh duniya pital di aur mein sone di ) .. :P after all being an idiot and being supported by ppl is no less an achievement.

idly sambar in the land of paneer de parathe

Firstly before I start writing anything let me clarify I am supposedly an INDIAN (what a relief to fit into a category of normal people) and secondly i am too much of north indian in south india and too much of a south indian in north india (so much so that i can become a enlightened saint) and more clarity on this would confuse the shit out of you, so i think its evident that i am a confused indian if i may say so.. :P and thirdly all the jokes cracked at anybody mean no offense (like i care :P). DELHI as the name suggests is the capital of the country (bazooka what intelligence) and hence for a fact is a melting pot of cultures (both civilized and un-civilized ) and ofcourse not to forget people like me who are so absorbed in their own world of wierdness, so here goes my take on this historically beautiful city.

        Well the very first day i stepped into this place i was sure if I had to survive in a place like this i would have to become a rahul baba or a modi deva or worse become a BABU  asap (the govt potbelly types and the palatial houses these dolts get for doing nothing ) and then the '' Tota syndrome '' and all the euphoria about the south indian dark choclate boys dying for the white choclate girls (how stereotypical) i thought for a second and then BAM it's true, more than the north indians having delhi girl-friends it's the southies who take their place here in terms of despo'ness and the actual wooing rate also ( the law of opposites attract proved correct ) and for somebody as wierd as me and for whom food or even better a cook is far more than important than having a Gf to nag, i realized yes for a mattter of fact the women are pretty but that does'nt take away the fact that delhi has a lot of make-up stores: P hahah and then the horror of the worst order, let’s put it this way a majority of their talk can put you into coma and cause irreversible damage. 

          Now coming to our darling idly sambar people as we are or should i put it as '' they '' are addressed, it's surprising that we (being so diplomatic :P) come to delhi and start craving for the typical ''south indian food'' and i am like don't u get it !! this is delhi, can't you just stop cribbing and get some roti, paneer tikka or even better a paneer biryani and then the second barrier as if the stereo typing was not enough we would always love to hang around with people from our very often distorted cultures and refuse to embrace the new things the other place might teach (not the controversial stuff though ) for one i just loved the way these people loved their life, live it their way or even a better term just don't give a damn and when i compare them to the nosy and interfering neighbours i had down south and not to forget those always scandal seeking eyes on the lookout for fresh gossip especially from poor people like me .. :P ahahah .. who is so sane, quiet and so southalicious and then my god the groups the idly sambhar group, the vada paav group, the delhi group, the namma banglore group and yes our very own pawan kalyan / pulli dance group and mind u all the above mentioned names were to offend and the strangest part no group interacts with the other more than the hai hello and that ohh so pearly fake smile.

                 Now the assumptions part, south indians think north indians are commercial, loud and snobbish ( ohh really ) and the north indians see the south indians as typical lungi dance people ( imagination skills of oneself can be a horror at times ) who are shy ( roflmao, joke of the century ), reserved and yes ohh so fearing karma our darling bitch and eat grass ( non-vegans, poor ppl they don't know veg also is fun and i risk no more opinion on food ) and then the habits part i mean seriously what's with this thing that south indians get up early, i mean yes we do but we also are lazy bears at times and then my god the puja .. :P i mean what's wrong in chanting that poor souls name who sits somewhere up ( if he does ) and suddenly before u realize, doing puja :P i mean the aarti and all that ( not the perverse interpretation ) apparently makes u so south indian, god, my ancestors must be turning in their graves out of shock when people call me spiritual or far worse religious and not to mention the ego - massage i get after all from being an outcast rebel in your own karma bhoomi (all pun intended) to suddenly owning up the southie tag, it's a priceless feeling i tell you .

Lastly for somebody like me for whom tracing my own descent and loyalty is as confusing as why was i put on earth for heaven’s sake.. :P the simple answer to this jigsaw puzzle would be absorb a part of this culture and make my own  (the one that i dnt know of) more complicated and in the midst of all this study, become a babu fast and have fun :) Now the last thing why the hell did i write this holy sermon, answer - because i was so bored that i wanted ppl spamming this post with their highly volatile comments on this and provide me with some  masaale-daar entertainment, so thanks for wasting your time on this prettily packed shit .. :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Dhinchak dhinchak of a 20 something.

Famous are these words in every graduate's life - '' Beta inter aur competitive exams acche se pass kar lo, phir toh aish hee aish hey '' and then in that hope of getting rid of comparisons, making our parents proud and to enjoy that freedom we eventually slog our ass off and get into an XYZ college.

      Story starts here, the freedom that was shown as a carrot for the horse to keep running turns  out to be a prank and then suddenly forget enjoying we realize that we are suddenly too old to be in the company of kids (who at times call u uncle / aunty also) and then for the elders u r a spoilt KID who refuses to grow out of his mental diapers, now starts the TAMASHA of a man-boy / women-girl, where one eventually ends up being confused if he is actually a grown up or a cerelac baby .. :P

     Enter college and then the pressure - to look nice, CREATE a good impression, get noticed and famous and keeping it up at all times (in my case controversial),then eventually of having a girlfriend / boyfriend just to have your own cinematic yash raj type candy-floss filled love story with the feeling of eternal louve (all pun intended) which dies out in 4 yrs with the title BHAIYYA / BEHEN, cheating and writing internals and those begging for marks and the endless fights, till all this is going on the longing for the end gets intense and once all this holy crap is over, begins the REAL BAND BAAJA BARAAT .. :P

        If luckily / unluckily u land a job when in college, the endless wait for the D.O.J begins and as if that was not enuf ppl who are already working crib that it's hell while the ones who haven't got in are desperately waiting to get into the same public toilet called a software job and then come the functions, the shaadi's where every uncle and aunty scans u up and down like a lecherous dog and happily grins '' Next tera number hey '' (hw I wish we could tell them the same thing at funerals ) as if the only purpose of life is to get married and produce kids :P  and that too as if population of india is less :P  (and some idiots do this as well, seriously !!! why study if all that one wanted was marriage at 22 and kids like instand maggi at 23) and then we ourselves look at our friends if in relationships and get into a dreamland of kaash I also had a girlfriend / boyfriend while the ones in a relationship are busy farting away their happiness to glory fully aware of the fact that they are polishing their acting skills with lies.. :P and then the drama's at home where u r still a kid who has no idea what he is doing in life and then all of a sudden ur walking style is a problem, ur dressing sense is a problem and talking back = argument and suddenly u r a REBEL .. :P

        In the midst of all this there  will be a few who still remain sane thanx to their buffaloe like skin while the rest are fighting with themselves and the world around TO TELL -  '' I AM SOMETHING '' (mow don't ask what that something is ).. :P and after all this we still manage to roll out of the gutter ( mainly in btw 21-26yrs ) and yet we keep searching for what we really want to do, the ones who are in a job looking for something that beats the 9 to 5 routine and the ones jobless thinking what has to be done :P suddenly everything about I, ME , MYSELF becomes a problem and everything around looks un-unsually nice and perfect .. :P MAYA  I say .. :P (not bad .. :P the godman in me has awakened :P )

                 Now coming to the point why the hell did I write this piece of heavenly shit and why the hell did I waste ur time ... A) because this is the life story of almost every mortal on planet earth ... so relax, chill and don't waste ur time by comparing ur life with every tom, dick and harry because u never know .. :P kaun kitna kameena hey .. :P