Nirvana: Rising from the Dead!

Sometimes travel is not about the love for getting lost in the un-chartered terrains but the process of regaining your lost value of self.

These 2 lines pretty much sum up the story of my sudden vacation / escape plan (special mention to the man, my father who NEVER tells a NO, no matter how crazy the plan). The very thought that it could end up chaotic in addition to relearning a lot of things, getting rid of people crutches and negativity was to be a task, one thing however I was sure of, the journey had to begin at Delhi – right from the ghar ka punjabi khaana with my extended family to pizzas to handling maid’s to staying alone in a penthouse to sleeping off on the terrace getting lost counting the stars to travelling by metro. It wouldn’t be wrong to call this place; My soul  that I left behind a good 1 and half years ago (however cliched it may sound).

What better a place could I begin the journey from, if not here! 2 months of sheer living in hell to going through trauma that I myself still cannot understand, had to fuck itself in the ass and it had to happen soon, for as my dad keeps telling ‘’ The my way or highway king has to be the pain in the ass that he is, to stay sane‘’. First stop was Ajmer, if put absolutely un-apologetically, God or the Baba himself would be astonished with the amount of business his name o his glory generates, however this was one place to visit. Next lined up was Pushkar, ohh the mighty bum breaking fall at the ghats where my fall evoked loud laughter :P where I realised sometimes its good to laugh at your own short comings. Last up: Jaipur – a place I always dreamt of (I would kill anybody any day to become royalty): right from almost getting robbed, to having too many things to do, the whole world yet again seemed to be against, but I realised, bitch I am a harder nut and like always will complete what I set out for, no matter what! Completed the plan, but now how do I go back to Delhi?? Buses full, No trains, Flight fares touching the sky ? What next: Suddenly as if by miracle I am indirectly forcefully boarded into a private car, little did I think (trust issues had already taken a toll, so the realisation that there is nothing worse that could happen was the only solace) that this was to be a huge lesson on trust, humanity, false sense of security and people. The lesson being: sometimes in the rush to be accepted by the  ‘’ people we want ‘’, we forget to appreciate ‘’ the people who want us ‘’ and little do we realize the key to happiness is the latter and not the former. The other lessons from the ride, will be charged for, since I hate doing things for free, no charity please!

Next up was to be Amritsar, wouldn’t be wrong to call this place my 4^th home (1 – Hyderabad, 2 Delhi, 3 Airports). The experience takes me over when I recollect my experiences at Amritsar, Right from the ‘’ display ‘’ of courage at Wagah to the soul stirring experience at Golden Temple considering that very few temples in this country just shut my mind up made this trip a prize catch. Cherry on top was the food ! The aromas, the masala’s and the makhan and lip smacking punjabi food, what more can a foodie ask for. Right from trying food at Langar to Kesar da dhaba and Bharwan da dhaba to the amazing sweets, this trip had filled me at many levels that I just cannot fathom.

‘’ You always get what you deserve or more ‘’ will be one lesson that got reinforced again for nobody and nothing in this world takes a higher priority than I, Me, Myself  (a lesson my dad tried hard to ingrain, but in vain) and there is absolutely no need to feel accepted, loved or cared, for I had everything I needed and more and I had no reasons to compromise for anything like always. Now who can boast of having your ex-landlords as family, a blood family who cares and meets all your tantrums and however small the circle of close knit friends and more who stick by you without a complaint literally with guns to kill though they know you are a pain when going through a low, yet don’t complain!

Lastly there is no greater relief than realising that I did fall (a mighty one at that), lost myself completely and became a sadder version of myself but the fact that I have learnt a huge deal of the people, things and situations I engulf myself in proved to be the silver lining.

To all those, missing my bad ass taunts, I don’t give a fuck attitude, The Jackass is back and this time with more sting!

Are we really safe !!??

One of those nights where sleep evades you and a small experience of road aggression that happened 3 hours ago sets off a chain of thoughts, as to are we really safe!? 

Sometimes it's an illusion of a goodie goodie world we live in. India as per news reports ranks among the highest human trafficking spots in the world. Every day maybe an honest, power less man is slaughtered or hounded like a dog or we listen to laws that make us all feel un-equal (be it the reservations or the caste politics). Are we really safe!? 

Sometimes we skip a heartbeat when our dear ones don't answer their phones, personification of fear perhaps. Greed is the mother of all sins and power corrupts, can't get more truer than this. Every once in a while this country witnesses a scam, a rape, a murder, an abduction, a girl pushed into prostitution or a stinking rich drunk bastard mowing down people on the roads. Are we slowly moving towards a gun toting, weapon yielding and an aggressive culture driven by materialism. A question lingers. Are we really safe!? 

Today news, tomorrow nothing is a logic we live by. As long as it doesn't happen to me or my family. I don't care is often an answer we self appease just to guarantee a good night's sleep. The rich continue to exploit, the poor think it's better to loot and do anti-social than to live an honest life and well the middle class or the upper middle class are just waiting to grab a piece of sunshine themselves fighting their way to maintain their sanity and integrity. Not that i find fault with these people, but its so sad that though we boast of achieving higher growth, more income and blahh. It's a fact that we live in a society that has under currents of status quo, power distance, sexism, chauvinism and god knows a gamut of what all. It's sometimes not the natural disasters we are scared of, it's the demons within us and around that shake us up. 

We talk so much of women empowerment with various celebrities (industry's which have been at the centre stage of un-reported assault cases, should we really believe these dolts) milking their image by its association. Are we slowly moving to a culture where we are more interested in the superficial rather than finding solutions. Do fancy videos, candle light marches really make a difference. Does just breaking down boundaries, terming immoral to be right mean empowerment, for it is the poor who bear the brunt of this not the mighty. Are our women really safe!? We live in a country where the irony is women are worshipped as god but there is always a bastard in a corner waiting to slip his hand beneath her body! Do these videos and fancy talk make any difference. Are we really safe!? Does getting drunk, having the choice to choose your partner to make out mean women empowerment or is it about women enjoying an equal share in the work space, having an equal say as an individual imply women empowerment. It;s not about people (men and women getting drunk in the night) getting drunk or choosing who they want to marry. It's about maybe a lady sweeper going to work in the night without a fear of drunk asshole mowing her down or a perverse dolt abducting her up. For god's sake it's not about getting drunk or anything else. It's a personal choice which should be respected but NOT made out into a women empowerment issue. 

The government offices are corrupt we assume, we hound the private ones for being greedy. Ever wondered what makes them so. The vicious circle of money, power and influence has taken us to a level where we forget that a crime so un-affected to us might just backfire in our own houses and willingly or un-willingly we are a party to this. Are we really safe!?

A thief wants to be a socialist, a politician wants to do good, a crook wants to be the kingsmaker and a pimp wants to do justice. Are we really safe!?

Sometimes I wonder have we as human beings fallen to the prey of sexism, religionism, greed, to cover up for our acts so insane that we forget the very essence of life is to live and let live. 

As i write today, a chill runs down my spine, not because i face some threat but because i just realized we live in a world where the thin line between right and wrong, justice and injustice is slowly diminishing. 

I am no commentator on matters concerning public life, but just an honest helpless citizen who dares to question Are we really safe!? Before you decide to really share or comment or like please do ponder over this. Your share or like or comment does'nt give me any benefit but maybe your thought would.