india thumakda - the item queen of indian politics.

How i wish i could cough in written oops i forgot i have got to be as honest as kejriwal ji and not copy him coughing.Before i start i want to admit i am writing this post with utmost honesty, integrity and blahh and i can vouch for the fact ki mein doodh se dhulla hua hoon aur jinko bhi yeh post galat dikhta hey woh chor hey aur sab bik chukke hey to crony capitalism .. :P

REASONS WHY NOT TO VOTE FOR THE ROAD RUNNER AND HIS CIRCUS COMPANY told in my ishtyle.
 
ECONOMY : subsidies are a politicians delight and an economists nightmare and in our times of already high fiscal deficit our dear tragediwal ji wants to give people subsidised power (bhagwan ke naam pe free mein de de bhai ), water. why is it bad 1) high fiscal deficit implies the govt borrows too much money from the banks thereby making it inevitable for banks to lend to pvt sector therefore higher rates of interest which the companies dont prefer therefore postpone investments, less jobs and more misery.Clearly our kejriwal ji despite him being an I to d R to d S officer loves subsidies because thats the easiest way to garner votes and easiest way to grab power.  Secondly his holiness wants the elctions to throw up a fractured mandate so that elections can happen again but the one thing he misses in his mindless rhetoric of swaraj and blah is that elections in india is like a marriage party, u alsways end up blowing more than ur budget and in these already tough times i think only he can fund these elections since dollar dollar heyy baby and he is the dollar man thanks to his party funding :P

POLITY : The media suddenly has started portraying him as the Mother Teresa (even she must be turning in her grave with disgust with this comparison ) of the depressed classes, the downtrodden and the women ... yes yes don't get shocked the women also and not to forget his way of doing it is don't come late, don't be an african else his self styled chowkidars will come at the stroke of the midnight clock and surprise surprise it's a raid with no proof and then in a meeting insult a respected female colleague who eventually walks out and to everyones utter surprise women are infact more poorly represented in the aap compared to the other parties. How dare me how can i forget he is d secular d man .. :P even if it means he gives a ticket to ppl based on the vote bank of the constituency (case in point old city majorly muslim population so our secular king will put up muslim candidates since this is secularism apunka ishtyle) and as far as my limited knowledge allows me except for shazia ilmi no SECULAR candidate has been fielded and i would not want to talk what is secular becoz i am d angootha d chaap and only d kejri d baba knows the definition.

 PALAT (oops paltu ) MERI JAAN TERA ITEM IDHAR HEY - mujhe/hume ghar nahi chahiye, gaadi nahi chahiye, hum gandhi vaadi hey isiliye repeatedly thappad khaate hain media mein sympathy ke liye and finally suddenly in the most filmi way he tells '' Mere paas MAA hey, sonia ma ''after all jhaadu aur haath donno hum saath saaath hey ki family hey, aur sheila dixit ji and fir's with regards to common wealth :P tauba tauba too much of cough has lead to selective amnesia and then i am an IRS officer and in the know how of how the govt works yet i formed the govt becoz i am power hungry oops no i genuinely care for the ppl (can't control my tears finally an angel has fallen from heaven to save us) and becoz u dnt listen to me i resign because i am a sacrificer just like my maa who sacrificed prime minister ship (to make the country sink). '' Lastly hum '' anti capitalist hain '' isliye hamare fund raising dinners ka kharcha 20,000 hey and any sane person would know that only darling crony capitalists can afford to pay 20,000 for a meal and i being aam will travel only by metro and cause nuisance to the public and hold my meetings in stadiums rather than assembly because i like d attention baby.

WHY I LOVE HIM : he and his show is better than comedy nights with kapil roz ka tamasha guaranteed and if the media does'nt focus on me i will sleep on the roads dharna and if that doesnt work, lets play holi with ink baby !! or even better lets wrestle :P news ka news and bechara ka bechara .. :P and his bunch of moronic supporters if this is not enuf will litter the streets, better idea kindly sweep the dirt off also after u litter and pee in front of m.p's houses (live example of freedom of expression baby). i sincerely hope and pray that this tamasha continues but on a serious note can we stop supporting this moron and his bunch of clowns and stop being a stake holder in raping the country and its people.

TO ALL THE PPL WHO ARE GOING TO ARGUE ON THIS ... PLEASE ARGUE .. :P i also want to see how it feels to enjoy attention in ways as shameless as these and i strongly again  re-iterate mein doodh se dhulla hua hoon aur jo bhi argue karenge sab chor hey aur woh bhi doctrinaired chor .. :P

 TO ALL THOSE PPL WHO SEE THIS MORON AS AN ALTERNATIVE and are blind to the obvious ... u guys need HELP !!! consult a psychiatrist immediately or better close ur eyes and sleep singing '' hum honge kamiyab ek din '' or even better dance to baby doll (yeh duniya pital di aur mein sone di ) .. :P after all being an idiot and being supported by ppl is no less an achievement.

idly sambar in the land of paneer de parathe

Firstly before I start writing anything let me clarify I am supposedly an INDIAN (what a relief to fit into a category of normal people) and secondly i am too much of north indian in south india and too much of a south indian in north india (so much so that i can become a enlightened saint) and more clarity on this would confuse the shit out of you, so i think its evident that i am a confused indian if i may say so.. :P and thirdly all the jokes cracked at anybody mean no offense (like i care :P). DELHI as the name suggests is the capital of the country (bazooka what intelligence) and hence for a fact is a melting pot of cultures (both civilized and un-civilized ) and ofcourse not to forget people like me who are so absorbed in their own world of wierdness, so here goes my take on this historically beautiful city.

        Well the very first day i stepped into this place i was sure if I had to survive in a place like this i would have to become a rahul baba or a modi deva or worse become a BABU  asap (the govt potbelly types and the palatial houses these dolts get for doing nothing ) and then the '' Tota syndrome '' and all the euphoria about the south indian dark choclate boys dying for the white choclate girls (how stereotypical) i thought for a second and then BAM it's true, more than the north indians having delhi girl-friends it's the southies who take their place here in terms of despo'ness and the actual wooing rate also ( the law of opposites attract proved correct ) and for somebody as wierd as me and for whom food or even better a cook is far more than important than having a Gf to nag, i realized yes for a mattter of fact the women are pretty but that does'nt take away the fact that delhi has a lot of make-up stores: P hahah and then the horror of the worst order, let’s put it this way a majority of their talk can put you into coma and cause irreversible damage. 

          Now coming to our darling idly sambar people as we are or should i put it as '' they '' are addressed, it's surprising that we (being so diplomatic :P) come to delhi and start craving for the typical ''south indian food'' and i am like don't u get it !! this is delhi, can't you just stop cribbing and get some roti, paneer tikka or even better a paneer biryani and then the second barrier as if the stereo typing was not enough we would always love to hang around with people from our very often distorted cultures and refuse to embrace the new things the other place might teach (not the controversial stuff though ) for one i just loved the way these people loved their life, live it their way or even a better term just don't give a damn and when i compare them to the nosy and interfering neighbours i had down south and not to forget those always scandal seeking eyes on the lookout for fresh gossip especially from poor people like me .. :P ahahah .. who is so sane, quiet and so southalicious and then my god the groups the idly sambhar group, the vada paav group, the delhi group, the namma banglore group and yes our very own pawan kalyan / pulli dance group and mind u all the above mentioned names were to offend and the strangest part no group interacts with the other more than the hai hello and that ohh so pearly fake smile.

                 Now the assumptions part, south indians think north indians are commercial, loud and snobbish ( ohh really ) and the north indians see the south indians as typical lungi dance people ( imagination skills of oneself can be a horror at times ) who are shy ( roflmao, joke of the century ), reserved and yes ohh so fearing karma our darling bitch and eat grass ( non-vegans, poor ppl they don't know veg also is fun and i risk no more opinion on food ) and then the habits part i mean seriously what's with this thing that south indians get up early, i mean yes we do but we also are lazy bears at times and then my god the puja .. :P i mean what's wrong in chanting that poor souls name who sits somewhere up ( if he does ) and suddenly before u realize, doing puja :P i mean the aarti and all that ( not the perverse interpretation ) apparently makes u so south indian, god, my ancestors must be turning in their graves out of shock when people call me spiritual or far worse religious and not to mention the ego - massage i get after all from being an outcast rebel in your own karma bhoomi (all pun intended) to suddenly owning up the southie tag, it's a priceless feeling i tell you .

Lastly for somebody like me for whom tracing my own descent and loyalty is as confusing as why was i put on earth for heaven’s sake.. :P the simple answer to this jigsaw puzzle would be absorb a part of this culture and make my own  (the one that i dnt know of) more complicated and in the midst of all this study, become a babu fast and have fun :) Now the last thing why the hell did i write this holy sermon, answer - because i was so bored that i wanted ppl spamming this post with their highly volatile comments on this and provide me with some  masaale-daar entertainment, so thanks for wasting your time on this prettily packed shit .. :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Dhinchak dhinchak of a 20 something.

Famous are these words in every graduate's life - '' Beta inter aur competitive exams acche se pass kar lo, phir toh aish hee aish hey '' and then in that hope of getting rid of comparisons, making our parents proud and to enjoy that freedom we eventually slog our ass off and get into an XYZ college.

      Story starts here, the freedom that was shown as a carrot for the horse to keep running turns  out to be a prank and then suddenly forget enjoying we realize that we are suddenly too old to be in the company of kids (who at times call u uncle / aunty also) and then for the elders u r a spoilt KID who refuses to grow out of his mental diapers, now starts the TAMASHA of a man-boy / women-girl, where one eventually ends up being confused if he is actually a grown up or a cerelac baby .. :P

     Enter college and then the pressure - to look nice, CREATE a good impression, get noticed and famous and keeping it up at all times (in my case controversial),then eventually of having a girlfriend / boyfriend just to have your own cinematic yash raj type candy-floss filled love story with the feeling of eternal louve (all pun intended) which dies out in 4 yrs with the title BHAIYYA / BEHEN, cheating and writing internals and those begging for marks and the endless fights, till all this is going on the longing for the end gets intense and once all this holy crap is over, begins the REAL BAND BAAJA BARAAT .. :P

        If luckily / unluckily u land a job when in college, the endless wait for the D.O.J begins and as if that was not enuf ppl who are already working crib that it's hell while the ones who haven't got in are desperately waiting to get into the same public toilet called a software job and then come the functions, the shaadi's where every uncle and aunty scans u up and down like a lecherous dog and happily grins '' Next tera number hey '' (hw I wish we could tell them the same thing at funerals ) as if the only purpose of life is to get married and produce kids :P  and that too as if population of india is less :P  (and some idiots do this as well, seriously !!! why study if all that one wanted was marriage at 22 and kids like instand maggi at 23) and then we ourselves look at our friends if in relationships and get into a dreamland of kaash I also had a girlfriend / boyfriend while the ones in a relationship are busy farting away their happiness to glory fully aware of the fact that they are polishing their acting skills with lies.. :P and then the drama's at home where u r still a kid who has no idea what he is doing in life and then all of a sudden ur walking style is a problem, ur dressing sense is a problem and talking back = argument and suddenly u r a REBEL .. :P

        In the midst of all this there  will be a few who still remain sane thanx to their buffaloe like skin while the rest are fighting with themselves and the world around TO TELL -  '' I AM SOMETHING '' (mow don't ask what that something is ).. :P and after all this we still manage to roll out of the gutter ( mainly in btw 21-26yrs ) and yet we keep searching for what we really want to do, the ones who are in a job looking for something that beats the 9 to 5 routine and the ones jobless thinking what has to be done :P suddenly everything about I, ME , MYSELF becomes a problem and everything around looks un-unsually nice and perfect .. :P MAYA  I say .. :P (not bad .. :P the godman in me has awakened :P )

                 Now coming to the point why the hell did I write this piece of heavenly shit and why the hell did I waste ur time ... A) because this is the life story of almost every mortal on planet earth ... so relax, chill and don't waste ur time by comparing ur life with every tom, dick and harry because u never know .. :P kaun kitna kameena hey .. :P

2012: How i wish the world ended

Never understood the midnight madness that is usually associated with the NEW year's eve,  sleepy new years are the best ways for an early bird like me who is always waiting to crash-land into my bed, well time flies and our darling doomsday year is coming to an end. It wouldn't be wrong to tell that this year has been one hell of a journey.

       This year should should also be rightly called the year of emotional turmoil, sinusoidal depressions and un-answered questions and the blank stares into the wide sky with a question WHY ? Never have i felt so strong and yet so vulnerable, so sure and yet so insecure. This year can also be called the year of heartbreak's, heart-ache's, betrayals, controversies following like a shadow and i landing myself in one mess after another. 

 

          Firstly the win at the HINDU E-PLUS club challenge followed by the college vizag trip that involved a lot of drama, tears, fights, heated emotions and well a lot of problems coming to the forefront, nothing is more problematic than seeing your own side that is not in exact terms flattering, well we lost the finale but nevertheless it ended up teaching me a lot of things by exposing me to the demons inside.

         This was again followed up by a drama that involved trust, love, concern and genuineness, all of which in this world sadly come with an expiry date and then followed a series of un-answerable questions, never ending depressions making me look like a joker in a bunch of seriously humane world of affairs (all pun intended) and i am pretty sure i made a good chutney of my emotions all through the year producing had it been collected at one place a river of tears, because when u break into so many pieces, it's hard to gather yourself back and tell the world, screw you, but u survive only when u get up and show the world u have the balls to face what it takes to get where you want and what u want and that you are not scared of taking the tough decisions and proudly without any modesty i can tell i have evolved to be a little more comfortable in my own skin.

          Decisions well like i believe there are no good or bad decisions, all the hard decisions and the decisions that were accompanied by a sense of emptiness and blank stares into the sky now seem valid because at the end of day I am the ONLY person who is responsible for whatever, so no regrets and they have made me what i am today though not flattering but still am not that bad either, and 2012 has ended up teaching me lessons the hard way with all it's mighty highs and morbid low's. 

                 Lastly Dear 2012, thank you for completely breaking me into pieces which i still gather and tend to with care, hoping it heals someday, Dear 2013 - U shall have the privilege of being '' THE MOST VALUABLE YEAR '' of my life and yes again it will be a sleepy 31 december 2012 and wishing u all  a kind, benevolent, successful, happy year 2013  ahead . 

       

GOD in a never defined fish MARKET.

Never has a question puzzled the greatest minds like the question of god and the mockery that surrounds this institution. It's also surprising that it has actually turned into a concept with every one having their own say on it and going around prophecy'ing their own versions to the world.

      Firstly there are those who tell god can be seen even in the smallest of things, human beings to be more precise, when anybody is not perfect why stoop god also (if he exists) to one's level for i am sure no scripture tells please confess your faith in god, owing to one's own insecurities or to cover for the weak'ish and confident nature in which we cover up our faults begging for forgiveness.

      Second in this bunch of craziness are the ones who believe god is supreme, ohh really !! then why is there such grave injustice in the world, telling everything happens for a reason is like killing somebody and telling them i was just releasing u off the pain and sending u to higher planes.The irony is we value anything that is a not a virtue more than god himself and then continue our existence in the make-belief world of a HIGHER POWER while we are just plain BLIND to the immediate surroundings around us unable to respond even to the LOWEST powers that should govern us.

     Thirdly are those who are so freakish about god and godliness that i am sure (if he exists) he also runs scared looking at the shallowness with which they go about their own daily lives ACTING HIGHLY MORALISTIC and PIOUS (pun intended) thinking god (if he exists) is a blind nomad. Running their own versions of god, godliness has become a venture slowly transforming from expressing the IN-EXPRESSIBLE to DRAMATIZING the IN-EXPRESSIBLE for the consumption of the public psyche.

     It also won't be a shocker to tell that god should now be made an active share holder in the various activities that go-on on his name, like a famous joke- beards and orange clothes are the sensation in india because inherently man loves knowing what is never KNOWN by ANYBODY.

   Lastly there are those who want everyone to believe that god is something that is to be felt, how sad science never gave a concept called god his due credit (all pun intended) for he must have been a part of one of the senses that a man could sense and then there are those who provide FACTS (self made) explaining everything on the basis of science and to their own convenience which again falls short of  human values in a cover up bid to dis-lodge the doubts that languish in a person's head by closing his eyes and then there are those for whom god is like an un-defined relation that still lingers in their lives thanx to their immediate surroundings. 

    Pitying these concepts/ belief's/dis-belief's is like arguing like an idiot thinking the population that LOVES god will actually listen. 

      Sarcatically like i always believe this world is a circus with it's own set of clowns around, so be a clown and have fun or just see the tamasha around and have fun because anyways nobody get's out alive and KARMA well it can go on a holiday because attributing one's life to karma is like attributing a gun in one's own head designed to shoot oneself. 

    

Human-machinery, activated.

I have often read in philosophical literature '' People walk away Memories don't '' , wow eureka maybe it's true, because ppl change,situations change,the type of bond changes and yes  fakeness and impracticality and lack of communication as issues crop up out of nowhere in this world of doubt, sweet lies and salty truth.In this world of practicality where we are all running in a race called life aspiring to be usain bolt's, how much are we really feeling and enjoying what we do.

    We get up in the morning, run run and run around all day in this crazy action-filled world with not an iota of emotion associated with it, we smile like our happy dent's are a show off, we love and become friends with an expiry date and if not we live with memories of ppl who no longer care for us or have given us illusions earlier. It has always been said that always give, i wonder when u can give, what is wrong in expecting the other person also to give equally, selfishness and self-sufficiency are just separated by a thin line and why not after all eveyone likes to be loved, cared for and accepted.

      In this race we forget that '' I '' also existed all along, just that we have started associating our lives so much to ppl who don't care and i really wonder if being genuine is a crime and a licence to get hurt or are we being genuine to the world around us in the wake of getting what we want and we fail to achieve it or is it just that we have stopped loving ourselves and being genuine to ourselves because all that one wants is happiness and sadly there is none in this world of running and hard-core human machinery. The innate feeling/phobia called ATTENTION disorder troubles the whole world,  whoever BIG or SMALL messes relations further.

Not writing this out of feeling lonely/sad/hurt/blahh blahh for which i dnt have time, just that it's time we started enjoying being with ourselves and loving ourselves more than anybody else because there is nothing permanent in this world other than ourselves so even if it hurts it's better to forgive, forget the bad, love whatever we do-however big or small because we live once and no one likes being a torture on themselves and lastly u are born alone and die alone so it's a good idea to make the story in between worthwhile . :) :)

Duck Syndrome

William Shakespeare once wrote 'All the world's a stage and all men and women mere actors' what better a timing to understand this quote more than now , it's surprising how we study without knowing what we want to do actually, love as if the other person is going to stay with us always and hate as if someone has snatched our life away and even more ironic is d fact that no matter how hard we tell ourselves that this has to be changed , IT NEVER DOES , as if the entertainment of one's life was not enough we have the parasitic society where often confidence is taken as arrogance , honesty as un-emotional and least of all an ambitious one as a greedy looser,  a man who is good looking a flirt , a women who has too many friends a bitch and on and on and on .

          Why do i write this today , not because i want to engage in self -pity or mock the society but to take a chance and laugh at all the fun life has to offer amid the games , fun , joy , tears and all the drama, what is more surprising is the fact that what gives one happiness does not necessarily give happiness to others when indulged or we r grateful to all those comforts that we have got in life but are really looking somewhere else and it is always very truly said whatever we desire and get makes us un-happy or even the desire not happening also leaves us un-happy ( a personal experience being my engineering, hahahah :P :P )  yet we live as if there is so much to achieve when there is really nothing in our hand other than our very own efforts. 

           Taking my own example , if somebody were to interview 100 people about me , there would be 100 contradicting opinions , so does that mean i have a multi-split personality NO ,  just that it is the situation that shapes our behaviour and most of the times not our innate godliness , yet we want to take credit for all the good , feel guilty for all the bad , hurt for loving someone , and least of all being scared of what parents , society and in general the social strata has to tell about us because it is the society that defines us and not vice-versa.
              What is even more surprising is the fact that most of our emotions get over faster than the time in an exam hall and yet we properly act our part good , bad or ugly and still LIVE . I think it is not wrong also to tell that 'the whole world is going through the duck syndrome where everyone looks happy yet inside we are all burning in our ways with our own struggles '.
  
Last of all it is also surprising how when there are millions dying of hunger , poverty , thirst , vandalism , terrorism and mockery we still choose to focus on I , ME , MYSELF , MY RELIGION , MY COMMUNITY , MY CASTE  and feeling as if  we bear the whole world on our delicate shoulders. 

          I think it's time to follow some pointers like the one by pitaji (Father of H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ) ' the whole wold is full of mistakes and people , so we need to love the people and forgive the mistakes for our own sanity' and last of all be grateful for all the love , joy , hatred , mockery we have faced because that has made us what we are today , reach out to all those in need and be happy because there is nothing that is going to last in this world anyways not even the great ME  :P :P so it's time we did 'what we loved , desired and wanted because WE LIVE ONLY ONCE and it's better lived without REGRET even if what we want to do is not something conventional, becuase even if u end up a failure u can always make a good story out of it.

                       ''LOVE WHAT U DO and DO WHAT U LOVE ''