We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely
admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty – Maya Angelou
Well, Marriage has made me no philosopher, but growing
up perhaps is the very fulcrum on which human existence thrives;
Learning-unlearning, happiness-sorrow, love-hate, Money-satisfaction,
Responsibility-freedom we keep swinging, searching for our own corner of joy
and peace in this little place called earth that we inhabit.
Cut to the wedding and my tryst with Adulting; a term
I often used to describe morbid people with no sense of the little joy’s in
life. Well, let’s just say I fell in the trap too only to understand that it’s
not as disastrous as my first world problems made it out to be.
From being a spoilt brat who wouldn’t think twice
before a purchase and flying off on holidays at whim to becoming a responsibly irresponsible character. Life has come a full circle and I cannot but notice the growth the
curveballs have forced upon.
*Mom in the background*: Both of you won’t be staying with us – pushing me
yet again in the river and thinking I will learn to swim like I always have, whatever be the situation.
And so, the journey began; Of understanding the cost
of services and products we so take for granted and rightfully provided by our
parents. Little did I realise that moving to our own place would mean
understanding you need to plan your purchases, meals, bills and what not. The
initial few months were a ride; figuring out the costs of milk, differentiating
the flours and telling myself that calling myself a man-child or calling my
parents to sort things out could no longer be a matter of pride. I had to learn
to swim; without losing focus of the things that mattered and gave me joy.
Not a smooth sailing but it’s a strange sense of joy
too – perfectly knowing that you’re juggling responsibilities albeit by eating
burnt/non-edible food on days and laughing through it to having dejavu moments
with prices and bills to facing your worst habits/in-securities/in-adequacies
with no easy fixes. Well growing up as I have come to accept it can be fun with
disasters turning into comedy and responsibilities turning into lessons; served
well in time with self-served dollops of humour, dance, obnoxious singing and telling
each other – today you take care of this or that.
Well, not to say I am an expert at adulting or I am
doing amazing but just the fact that from being a spoilt man-child who loathed
keeping track of money and would fly off on holidays on whim to trying-failing
and retrying this rigmarole to humouring myself into growing up, it’s been
quite the ride but I guess I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
As I wind up a week of detox from all things negative
(people, experiences, situations) and move anxiously to newer things with hope
and optimism, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of achievement for things I have
started to do and for finally accepting that growing up isn’t after all that
bad and more than anything the distance I have travelled from what I was to
what I am.
*People who comment it’s my honeymoon phase and hence
all this writing – will be crucified*
More stuff on Economy, Life and People in the months
to come.
